[Harley] Lost without Direction

[haze]

Most children had "big plans" for their lives, from being a cowboy to a fire fighter, there was always someone they idolized who they wanted to be exactly like. But not Tyler. He had never known what he wanted to do with his life, he had no aspiring dreams, he had no plans for the future, he hardly knew what it was to aspire to make something of himself. If there was one thing that was for certain, though, he never would have guessed that his life would go this way of all ways. It seemed if there was something that could go wrong in someone's life it had gone wrong in his. His childhood was hell, his teenage years were spent in fear and hate, and as awful as it sounded, that 6x8 foot prison cell felt more like home to him than anywhere else ever had, and at times he was tempted to do whatever he could to go back there.

To be honest, there was quite literally nothing perfect about Tyler's life. The only family he had either hated him, and always had, or had died. There was only one person who he considered himself close enough to now to call family, and that relationship appeared to be down the drain. He was never really sure what it was about Harley that attracted him to her. He wasn't in love wither her or anything like that, but she just wasn't like most people, and although she could never really understand what he was going through, he felt like she was the only one left who cared enough to try. Unfortunately, rather recently he had come to feel a bit betrayed by her. After she got out of jail she spent more and more time with her boyfriend... who also happened to be a policeman.

It came hand in hand with being a Haze that policemen were not to be considered friends... and after having been shot by three of them at the same time, being accused of drawing a weapon to fire on them, he just couldn't bring himself to ever think highly of police. Harley knew it too... and for as long as he had known her she had always expressed a disgust for police as well... until now. He had never been in love with anyone... so no matter how hard Harley tried to explain to him that she really liked him, Tyler just couldn't come to terms with it... so he pushed her away... now he was alone when he needed someone the most. Sure, he had his "girlfriend" Vivian, but he was really only using her to get back at Harley, and she was really only using him to make Parker mad... or so they thought... but it just wasn't the same as having someone there who you had known for a long time.

Tyler was a tough guy, and a strong one at that, and there wasn't a whole lot that he couldn't handle... but this, he had never seen this coming. He'd survived being shot three times in the chest, he'd survived prison, he'd survived being abused as a child, he'd survived countless street fights... but now, he was certain that he could not get through this. Just yesterday a single piece of mail, the only one he had ever gotten, showed up on his doorstep, a letter from an attorney accompanied by the results of a DNA test. Since Tyler had been through the legal system more than once his DNA was on record, and when a certain supermodel died in child birth and they took a DNA test to determine who the father was since she hadn't told anyone, they compared it to all DNA on file, and his was the match they got. She was automatically in his custody by default since her mother had died.

Being a single parent at 20 years old was not the ideal situation for Tyler... especially not in the condition he was in. He was an alcoholic, his income was from illegal street fights, and he had absolutely no parenting skills to speak of and no one to help him. It seemed there was no way out of this situation. Tyler was terrified of the concept of being a parent. It appealed to the softer side of him that very few people believed existed. His parents had been miserable failures at everything, but especially parenting, and he would never want that for anyone, especially his own child... and he was afraid that with his lack of any interaction with children he would only be able to give her exactly what his parents had given him... nothing.

The baby was only about a month old, and would be brought to him within the week. How was that for a wake up call. "Oh hey, you've got a baby, she'll be there soon." How thoughtful of them. The more he thought about this whole thing the more restless he became. He felt like his thoughts were filling the room to the point that he was sure those four walls were going to burst, and he had to get out. For once the only place in the free world he felt like he could escape was less welcoming to him than the courthouse had been on the day of his trial. He just had to get out. There was really nowhere for him to go, but anywhere was better than here.

He was so preoccupied with his thoughts he really didn't realize where he had stopped or how long it had been since he left, but all these thoughts and emotions running through his head were exhausting. He sat on a bench staring blankly out at the empty park out before him, none of it actually registering in his mind, for a moment before dropping his head into his hands feeling more alone and overwhelmed than he had in a long long time. Anyone who knew him even just a little would be able to tell something was wrong. He was normally so aware of everything that nothing got by him, but now a bomb could have gone off behind him and he wouldn't have noticed. He'd been up all night after reading that letter half a million times and now the sun was coming up slowly in the distance. Stressed didn't even begin to explain the way he was feeling.

[harley]

Sweet songs of birds and the laughter of children were carried like whispers by the wind throughout the park. The sun was like a warm blanket fresh from the drier as opposed to the chilly are the nipped at your nose. The smell of nature was so refreshing to Harley, considering the only thing she normally smelt was exhaust fumes and oil and grease. It was such an amazing winter day even though it started off like any other day. It warmed up with yet another sleepless night, followed by an early morning coffee run, then a zombie like state of staring at random object, before she finally came to the conclusion that she needed to get out of her cave of solitude. She had no idea where she was going to go, how to get there, or what she was going to do when she got there, but she knew she couldn’t spend her entire day inside. It was too depressing and had a tendency to make her sulk and wallow in self pity. That was one thing she hated, absolutely hated, doing and ever since she got caught it was happening more. Not that she was sitting there saying what a horrible life or that she was jealous of anyone around her. No, that wasn’t it, she just day dreamed, or day-nightmared, remembering things, missing things, it was like a permanent trip down memory lane when she was in her apartment and that wasn’t a place she wanted to be. Unfortunately that’s the place she called home and had to return to every night.

Complaining really wasn’t allowed though; things were going pretty well as of late. Charlie made it better, Charlie, Chuck, Jamie, and Melody all made it easier. She spent a lot of time with the kids while Charlie worked, and ever since he asked her to the New Years Eve party she’d been spending a lot of time with him too. With him she could smile, laugh, and be her normal self she didn’t pretend or try to be anything different. From day one she decided that if he didn’t like her for who she was then it wasn’t going to work so why would she pretend to be anything other than herself? But he did like her for who she was, or at least it seemed like it. He was sweet and even though he worked way too hard at everything and was always tired, he was fun to be around. Her life was ten times better with him in it there was only one thing she didn’t like about it, and that was the part where she had to go home… she wasn’t expecting and invitation to stay with them or anything like that, she just didn’t like her place anymore. It was far too quiet, unlike Charlie’s house with all the kids and the dogs it was so, homey.

Most of her days were spent at the Parker house, but there were those occasional days when she didn’t spend every waking moment with them, and this unfortunately was one of those days. Whenever she had a day like this she never knew what to do with herself, and more often than not ended up in the same place that she was at. As pathetic as it sounds, she didn’t have much friends, to be honest she didn’t have very many before she went to jail. Yeah she went out got drinks, hung out watched sports and what not, but she hardly saw the same people often enough to know anything about them except the basics. There was only one person she would actually call her friend and now they rarely saw each other. Tyler hated the fact that she spent time with and was now dating Charlie. The one thing Harley and Tyler without a doubt agreed about was the fact that they both hate policemen. There really was no need to explain it, so when Harley started seeing Charlie, Tyler didn’t even try to understand. Harley got it though, she sort of betrayed him, it was unintentional and she knew if he took the time to meet Charlie he would make him an exception too. But as of now that definitely wasn’t going to happen.

Tyler felt betrayed and Harley knew it, she didn’t mean for it to happen but she really liked Charlie, not for the job that he had, but for everything else. As far as she was concerned policemen were the scum of the universe still but Tyler didn’t see that, and since he was still holding it against her he decided to get back at her. With some girl, Harley knew what it was and didn’t approve of this girl whatsoever; it was going to be really hard for any girl to be right for Tyler though. But this girl was completely and utterly wrong for him. She took the time to hear him out, try and show him that even though she didn’t like the idea she’d try so that maybe he would try too. She tried but started making sure he wasn’t with her whenever she wanted to hang out with him, and if she didn’t know any better she would think he was doing the same thing with her and Charlie. It was stupid and Harley was sure that one day they would look back at it all and laugh, at least she hoped so. But for now they continued to dance around each other’s significant other.

That was one out of many things that she thought about as she sat on a hill watching everything that went on in the park today. That was one of the more major things. Tyler was her partner in crime, the name she hadn’t given Charlie when they were interrogating her and the name she would never rat out. Besides it had been her idea and she would never intentionally betray him. She loved him very much, not in a romantic way at all, but he was like her brother and she had his back, always. So when he came to her and told her about this girl Vivian she instantly became protective, no way was some trashy home wrecker about to come in and make him go back to being what he was before. She worried about him, and with this girl around that worry only increased by ten times. Her best friend was involved with some skanky cheerleader, she was with the chief of Police, they were driving a wedge between themselves, and it was slowly splitting them farther and farther away.

A sigh escaped her lips and she pulled herself out of her thoughts to focus on the people around her. When you were quiet you learned quickly the art of people watching. Jamie and she now had that to a T, although you would probably call it more of people scrutinizing instead of watching. A small smile lit up her face at the thought of Jamie, he was still warming up to her, and she figured it would be that for a while. She was in no hurry and wasn’t going to force herself on him, besides she planned on sticking around for a while so he had all the time in the world. Her eyes scanned the area around her before landing on one specific shape. A muscular, bulky, sullen, shape. As if it would help her see better she tipped her head to the side looking a little more attentively. It was a scary shape, rough, as if there was an imaginary cloud of doom hovering over him. She knew that shape without a doubt and knew it from the second she saw him. With one swift slightly less graceful than she had planned movement she was on her feet and moving toward the bench that he was sitting on.

As of late Tyler had been putting on some sort of show, or at least it seemed like it, and this, this was far from the show that he had been putting on. It was like the depressed twin of what she had seen last. That only made her worry even more than she already was. She came around the bench only to notice the reason he was slouched was because his face was buried in his hands. Biting her lip she sat down next time him quietly and looked at him a moment. “Penny for your thoughts?” Shifting so her back was on the arm of the bench and she was facing him, she crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap. This was neutral territory, No Vivian, no Charlie; they were now on a time out from the battle of the girlfriend and boyfriend. Now he was a friend who clearly needed a friend to talk to, and even though neither of them were very good at the whole talking thing, they both seemed to have an unspoken language that only they knew how to understand, she was just hoping that wasn’t totally obliterated in the cross fire.

[haze]

Very few people had ever seen Tyler afraid or anything, mostly because he wasn't really afraid of much of anything... at least not in the normal sense of the word. Really the only times Tyler had been afraid was when Jacob died, when he went to prison, and now. Obviously, he really wasn't very good at handling fear. He had only ever responded to fear by lashing out. When Jake died, he fell in with the wrong crowd and started into the world of crime. When he went to prison... well, it was prison, could that be any worse? I suppose in a way when Harley had started dating Charlie he had been afraid as well... afraid that he was losing her to the one sort of person he despised the most. Somewhere deep down he was really afraid that if Harley was in with a policeman her way of thinking would change to be more in tune with his and before long she would treat him just like all the rest of those "high society" type people treated him... like because he had made a few wrong turns he was scum of the earth and should be locked away so as to not disrupt the flow of the world.

Sure, he should have known that Harley wasn't like them and that she wouldn't change for anyone, Charlie included, but he couldn't really help being afraid of the possibility of losing her like he had lost everything else that had ever mattered to him. So in response, he tried to convince himself that she had already turned on him and that he wasn't hurt by it, and somehow by lashing out at her it would make everything better. Oh Tyler, he had such a horribly warped perspective of reality; being betrayed by the very people who were supposed to love you the most could do that to a person, and Tyler had definitely been a victim of that. People would say all the time that you have to choose to be a survivor, not a victim... but what choice did he have in the matter when all he knew was the pain they inflicted on him every day when all he wanted was to be loved by them... he even would have settled for them liking him just a little bit.

These were the times he needed his brother the most. Jacob had this uncanny way of making everything okay, even situations like this, he could somehow turn it around and make the best of it. After he died, Tyler only had Harley, and even though he really legitimately loved Harley like she was the family he never had, it wasn't the same. Yeah, she was understanding and she always did her best to help him, but there were some spaces that only a brother could fill, and those spaces were no empty forever. Then you add in that he had done his best to push Harley away... and he didn't know what to do. He was waist deep in thoughts and he had no one there to help him sort through them. Anyone would have been better than this. Most things he would do alright not talking about, but this was something that wasn't going away if he just ignored it... this he really truly needed to tell someone who cared about him so he didn't have to bear this burden on his own.

He had buried himself so deep in his thoughts that the rest of the world started to fade away into the background as if it wasn't even there. It was very unlike Tyler to be so zoned out that he wasn't aware of what was around him, though it did happen on more than one occasion. Typically when it did if someone... namely Harley... managed to sneak up on him he would react quickly and occasionally almost a little violently when they made their presence known... but when he heard Harley next to him, his reaction was slow and almost delayed as if he had to slowly come back to reality before he could do anything. He turned his head slowly to look at her and didn't say anything at first. He was debating whether or not he wanted to tell her, and if he did whether he should go about it bluntly or sort of beat around the bush.

Really he was dying to just say it, but what bit of pride he had left was damn stubborn and he had to fight with himself for a moment. When it came right down to it though, he knew that even if Harley was dating a cop and was pissed at him for "dating" a blonde cheerleader, she was the closest thing to family that he had, and really the only person left who might care enough to notice if he was to disappear. I... he started then paused taking a somewhat shaky breath and handing her the letter that he'd read at least a million times hoping that perhaps all the times before he had mis-read it, I have a kid Harley. His hands were practically shaking with the anxiety he felt with this reality. He literally could not be a parent at this point in his life for so many legitimate reasons. Having come from a family with parents who were undeserving of the title and unfit for the position, perhaps one of his greatest fears was taking after them, and he knew that right now he was completely unfit to be a single parent. His "job" was illegal street fighting, he had a long criminal record, he was still on probation, and he could hardly take care of himself, let alone a baby that was a few months old. This, he could not do... but somehow he couldn't just give her up for adoption to never know what would become of her. Tyler had officially gotten himself backed into a corner from which there was no escape. In his mind, this situation was worse than when the police had cornered and shot him... at least that day his had been the only life affected, but this... this was bigger than that; this would affect the life of that baby, and that thought terrified him.

[harley]

Fear – A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. There were things in life that were just obvious fears such as death… heights… etcetera Harley Davidson didn’t live with those fears. In fact there were very few things that instilled fear into her. She was a dare devil, I mean she used to steal cars for a living; thrill seeking was sort of her thing. She wasn’t afraid of death, or heights, or anything like that. Actually if you asked her she would find some random pretty line like "The only thing I’m afraid of is not having enough time to fulfill the childhood plans I had for myself, I think the most important thing we have is our dreams.” More often than not she would say that with a super cheesy sarcastic twist followed by a roll of her eyes and “I’m not afraid of anything its over rated to live in fear… nothing gets done when you live like that.” Harley was bold and could overcome just about anything that loomed over her. But in reality she was haunted by one fear that she couldn’t seem to shake no matter how hard she tried. And that was the fear of losing the people that were closest to her and being alone. Showing any weakness was one thing Harley didn’t do so that added the fear of being transparent plus she hated being a burden. It was really all one big mess that she just kept sweeping under the rug.

After watching her father get taken away when she was little, she had every right to be afraid that. But I’m pretty sure she was more afraid of people knowing that she was afraid of something. Weird maybe but everyone is afraid of something and this just so happened to be it for her. At the moment she was afraid of losing her best friend over some stupid fight that in a few years they would laugh about but right now seemed like the end of the world. Well maybe not the end of the world but you get the point. Seeing him like this worried her and this moment right now was the turning point of the story. This was when they called a truce because he was her best friend and she wasn’t going to abandon her just like she hoped he wouldn’t do to her. She never wanted him to feel like that… it was just all so messed up and it killed her but she didn’t know how to fix it. Here was her chance though and she just had to hope and pray that she wouldn’t screw it up… even if he was dating some stupid blonde preppy bitchy cheerleader with absolutely no thoughts of her own. Just the thought of her made Harley furious… those were exactly the type of girls that she used to beat up when she was younger… she had her reasons though I mean they were mean and used to tease and make fun of her she was only doing what she thought was necessary.

Not showing her fury when it came to Vivian was hard but she did the best she could since she knew if she was mean and critical of her then he wouldn’t stop hating Charlie… it wasn’t fair though. Vivian was everything wrong for Tyler… he was such a nice caring and just general good guy and Vivian was so… not any of that or deserving of any of that… course Harley had only met her like twice but she knew she didn’t like her just after hearing her name. Then again Harley was like Tyler’s older sister and as far as she was concerned no one was good enough for him. Then it all made sense… Tyler was the only family she had left… her dad was gone she wasn’t even allowed to visit him anymore… he asked her to stop coming. Then Toby and Angie were taken away and now she was afraid of losing Tyler to her. But now she got it… she had made him feel the same way with Charlie… well that’s what she was guessing anyways. It’s funny how you could be totally oblivious to what you were doing until it was happening to you.

Tucking her hair behind her ear she looked at him even more concerned than before if that was possible. It was obvious that something was wrong… and not normal he was in pain wrong… this was way behind pain this was fear of something else, downright fear of something… she couldn’t tell what it was but the chills running down her spin weren’t just from the cold air. Her stomach tightened like it always did when she was worried about one of her little chicks. Harley was a mother hen something she had ever since she was little worrying was something that just came naturally. Never for her own safety but always for the people around. It was painful for her to see him like this, yeah to the world he was a hardened criminal but she saw past that and knew he was just a lost kid and he deserved so much better than the hand the world had dealt him. She swallowed trying to hold herself back from hugging him like she wanted to. Typically they were both laid back nonchalant people who didn’t show emotions but sometimes it was hard to keep herself like that. She watched as he struggled to get out what it was that he was about to tell her. But she knew that he would tell her they may have not talked about serious things before but their relationship was deep enough that they both knew they could rely on each other when things where bad.

There was nothing that could have prepared her for what happened next though. In all the history they had she never would have seen this coming. He handed her the letter but before she could actually look at his words were ringing in her ears. Now, Harley wasn’t typically a violent person, sure she stole cars and could beat up guys twice her size and yeah she used to beat kids who were mean to her in high school but she wasn’t one of those people if you said the wrong thing she would ignite like the incredible hulk in girl form. But when he told her he had a kid the first thing that popped into her head was that Vivian was pregnant. And instantly every muscle in her body tightened and she had to tell herself not to go off on him for being so incredibly stupid. She inhaled and thought about what he said he didn’t say he was going to be a dad or something that hinted that he got her pregnant… this was an already done situation not a going to happen. This child was already in the world… so she bit her lip and tried to think of the best thing to say to him. That’s when she took the time to look at the paper in her hands.

Scanning the letter as quickly and efficiently as she could she sighed slightly before putting her hand on his shoulder and looking over at him. “We’re going to figure this out. I promise. Okay? ” It was as if she could read his mind… if he was going to give her up for adoption he would have tried to hide it from her and eventually would have told her. But he was legitimately struggling with this and that made it obvious that he wanted her. But she also knew that he knew he couldn’t take on a baby right now, he would try but to be honest he could barely take care of himself… not that there was anything wrong with that, he was just a kid himself. She had no idea how they were going to fix this, but she was going to help him in whatever way she could no matter what that entailed she considered him family and that meant that this kid was her family too… and she may have had a jacked up family experience she was taught that family wasn’t just a word tossed around lightly and she had already protected him from jail so there was pretty much nothing she wouldn’t do for him. The most important thing was for him to understand that and not forget it.

[haze]

Right now Tyler was definitely out of his element. He wasn't used to feeling this trapped with no way out. He couldn't see any possible way to get out of this one. He felt as if he was standing on the edge of a cliff with 50 foot walls on all three sides of him slowly pushing him closer and closer to falling off. Yeah, he'd gotten himself into tough spots before, but nothing like this, nothing where his decision could ruin someone else's life. He'd already sufficiently ruined his own life, so he was sure that if he kept her he would ruin hers as well, but at the same time he was also sure that if he gave her up to adoption she would probably hate him for not keeping her and could fall into an awful family. He'd heard all kinds of things about how the system worked... or didn't work, and he didn't want that for her.

Right about now he was really feeling like a major jackass. He'd been so awful to Harley lately and here she was, the only person he could count on, even after being such a prick. He was the kind of guy who always blamed himself for everything, even if it took him a while to come to that conclusion, and why shouldn't he? His parents had pounded it into his head over and over and over that everything was always his fault. Now it was just natural for him to think everything bad that happened really was his fault. Harley knew that. If he was in a tiff like he had been lately, he would eventually come around and apologize for it multiple times. Most people would just say over and over again that it was fine or whatever... but Harley always told it like it was the first time, then typically ignored all the other times.

He looked back up at Harley, almost hoping that she would somehow have the magical fix to this problem he'd found himself in. Most things that had happened to him he could have gotten out of and survived on his own. Yeah, he'd gotten hurt pretty bad several times, but usually not so bad that he would have died from it. This was something entirely different, this was one thing that he literally could not get through on his own... and Harley was the only person on the face of the earth who he could possibly look to in order to find the help that he needed. He had never felt so desperate in his life. This was worse than the desperation he'd felt when he was shot, worse than all those times he was beaten as a child, worse than when Jake had died, worse than when he'd gone to prison. The one thing he could not do was care for someone else's life.

He shook his head when she said that they would figure it out. I can't have a kid, he said, clearly terrified of the prospect, I just... I can't. Tyler was clearly tormented by the decision he had to make. He couldn't very well take care of her but the whole idea of making her grow up without knowing at least one of her parents just wasn't one that sat well with him. He wanted desperately to be the parent to her that he never had, but he was all to aware that it was impossible. Being that his mind was so stuck on this idea that there were no options for him, he was convinced that he was completely trapped. He wanted to rewind time and just not open that letter and be faced with this decision. His mind was eased slightly knowing Harley was going to be the "bigger man" and not let their current "disagreement" come between them. The best thing about Harley was that she just understood, he didn't know how she did, but she did, and for that he was extremely grateful.

I can't just give her away to some stranger... he added after a moment of silence, trying to wraps his mind around this whole situation. He was almost just thinking out loud now, perhaps trying to reason with himself, or trying to justify not giving her up for adoption. It just wouldn't be right. Tyler talking about right and wrong was a rare thing. He had very few standards as far as that sort of thing went, so it was a sure thing that if he was talking about not being able to do something because it wasn't right, you knew he felt very strongly about the subject. He had created this life, though he hadn't known it until he read the letter, and he had to take care of it as best he could. Seing someone he didn't know take her away would just kill him. He couldn't do it, and that was that.

[harley]

It’s funny how quickly things change. Just yesterday she was grumbling about his stupid blonde cheerleader girlfriend whom probably didn’t even know what a rotor is and how he was being such a jerk while she paced the living room. Now here she was reassuring him that everything was going to be okay and that they would figure it out together. But that’s how true best friends were… one moment they were arguing …. About something stupid… the next they were by each other’s side consoling one another. They were two peas in a pod really. It all started forever ago it seemed like… she read him like an open book. Now Harley couldn’t say she knew what he was going through… not now and not back then. Fact was no one knew what Tyler had been through… his whole life could be classified as a dramatic tragedy. What he needed to grasp onto was that it wasn’t his fault… nothing he did caused the bad things to happen… he was just dealt a horrible hand in life.

Tyler didn’t deserve any of that… he didn’t deserve the abuse… the loss… the punishment… or the consequences. It killed Harley to watch him struggle to pick himself up off the ground just to have something else come along and knock him down. It was her job to look after him… to take care of him… when he was dumb and went out fighting she never protested but she was always there to pick him up and clean him up after it was over. She didn’t do it so he would pay her back or to hold it over his head… even though she sometimes did… but she did it because they were all each other had. She lost his dad to prison… and never mentions her mother. And he… well he didn’t lose his parents… they lost him due to their own stupidity. Harley was very protective over the people that she loved and whenever she thought about Tyler’s past she got upset… Tyler was like her little brother and she would beat up anyone who hurt him… his parents and the blonde trap he was with included.

Right now when he looked up at her with his worried lost eyes all she wanted to do was fix this problem. Now normally he was the typical guy who didn’t want help and in any normal problem would pretend to be okay and fix it himself. But this was obviously not a normal problem (what was?) and from the look on his face it was obvious he was scared and had no idea how to fix this. Yeah, there was Charlie and Vivian but neither of them understood Harley and Tyler the way they got each other… not even so much understood but they’ve just been there… no matter what. Harley would do anything for Tyler and Tyler already had done anything for her when he bailed her out… So right now she had his back not because she thought she owed him but because that’s what friends did… even when no one else understood they had each other… She ran her hand through her hair and gave him a slightly worried sympathetic look.

“I can’t have a kid, I just… I can’t.” He was probably right… But Harley believed that he could if he set his mind to it. He really was a great guy but he sold himself short on a constant basis… he just needed to see himself the way Harley did. He tried so hard to be rough and strong and invincible… but today proved more than ever that he was soft and gentle and that he cared. He was putting this Childs’ life before his own and that was the most admirable thing he could ever do. She could see the game of tug-a-war that was going on inside his head. He was too good of a guy to give up his child… but he also wanted a better life for the baby than he could offer… if he could only see how heroic he was being… but no he only saw how bad it was. It was bad that was true but that didn’t mean he was. “I can’t just give her away to some stranger…”

Then it was suddenly very clear what the solution was… and what Harley was going to do. “It just wouldn’t be right.” There is a very small fine line between right and wrong and walking that line was no easy task… sometimes you fall onto the right side and its okay… but we all make mistakes and sometimes fall onto the wrong side… But in this case every thought Tyler was having was on the right side. She bumped her shoulder against his and looked down at her lap. “You know… if you could just see how great of a guy you really are things would be a lot easier…” She looked up at him smiling softly. Letting her words sink in a little she waited… she was about to get herself into a whole new world of trouble… But how fun could life be, if there weren’t some risk of trouble. She sighed heavily looking down at her lap again… “What if you signed custody over to me...?”

[haze]

All his other issues aside, Tyler was the kind of guy who would see a problem, and just had to fix it... and if he couldn't fix it, it would drive him insane. Mixing that in with everything else caused a lot of problems for him. He was so good at screwing stuff up, and not just in his own mind, and then he always wanted to fix it and most of the time there was no solution within his grasp. That was where Harley came in. She was his saving grace. Without her he would have long since lost his mind. He was the one who caused the problems, she was the one who knew all the solutions to the problems that he caused. He probably would have self destructed years ago if it weren't for her. She was the one thing that had been steady in his life. Despite all the stupid arguments that threatened to tear them apart, that he usually started, she always came back again.

Tyler hardly knew how to function in a normal relationship, thanks to his parents' lack of parenting skills. For the first and most essential years of his life all he knew was that people were cruel and that there was no one out there who he could rely on. So he built up a defense mechanism to keep people out and push them away, and when he discovered that it worked, he only strengthened it. Then along came Harley, and no matter how many times he pushed her away she just kept coming right back until he had become hopelessly attached to her. Not in the love sort of way that people usually think of, but in the way that couldn't really be explained. Yeah, he often acted like a jerk towards her, but for whatever reason she didn't take it to heart like everyone else. It was like she somehow knew what was causing all of his issues and had chosen to completely ignore that part of him.

She saw him as the sort of person that he never believed he could ever be. All she saw was that guy who wanted nothing more than to fix the horrible hand he'd been dealt, while all he saw was the other side... the guy who couldn't do anything right to save his life and only screwed other people over without even trying. It was almost like Tyler was two people smashed into one. On one side he really was that good guy, but on the other side he was also really that other guy. Harley balanced him out and fixed everything that he broke. It was really no surprised to him that she had some sort of solution to this problem too, but what did surprise him was what that solution was.

((Not Done))