And The Hardest Part Is Letting Go [Kate]

[jason08]

Kegan climbed into his black Chevy truck. Today he was off for a change. The Saturday morning was a bit cloud showing that it may possible rain later in the day. Kegan usually took Saturdays off for the ranch so he could rest up. He still had his job at Ro's to go to but that was later tonight. This morning Kegan was going up town to the shelter then roam around town. Kegan's was gonna she if he could find a pretty good type dog to be around the farm. It had been a while since there had been one on the farm. Also Kegan figured it would help with his house feeling so empty all the time. Oh, how everything changed after the night Megan was lost. Every night he went home to a empty bed unless so girl at the bar came with him. He had though his life was set, but within a blind of an eye it was took from him. Yea their marriage was having a rough spot, but never would have he wished this.

Kegan tried to focus on the road, but the even after two years the pain still rake through his body. Hand gripped the wheel as he tried to fight the pain. How do you get over losing the one you though you where gonna spend the rest of your life with? How do you just pick up where it end like it hadn't? How do you look at another women and try to love her knowing there is a chance God will take her from you as well. How do you move on when you only want what you had back. How would any women learn to understand him? Get his broke heart. How would they ever love him knowing he's wasn't sure how to love anymore?

Why had he come to bring women home knowing after that night he'd probably never see them again? Oh, it never made it any easier when he woke up the next morning. He wasn't sure it would ever get any easier. Finally found himself pulling into the parking lot of the Old Fashioned Soda Shoppe. He needed to eat. More like he needed a strong drink but he was trying to pull away from that. He parked his truck in the back and sat there for a moment to gather himself. Time to put on the mask so no one would ask what's wrong? He hated to try and answer and hoped someone would really have a answer worth hearing. He was done hearing oh I'm sorry, oh I know how you must feel, or I'll try and help if I can. All words that could never in a million years make it any better.

Kegan stepped out the truck and head around the front. He walked through the doors and found a booth to sit at. He grabbed a menu to look over. His stomach growled suddenly. He really did need something to eat. He hadn't ate since the day before around lunch. Kegan sat there in the booth and waited for someone to come take his order. One of theses days Kegan was gonna run himself right into the ground never to recover from it.

Kegan's Truck

[Kate Hudson]

Outfit: www.polyvore.com/barn/set?id=10003996

Finally, time for a break from work. Kate removed her Coasta sunglasses from her face and placed them on top of her head as she exited the ring with her lesson student, Lacy, and watched her as she led her horse into the barn. She took the tack off the horse, while Lacy took Gunner out to the wash rack, and give him a good rub down. " Okay Lacy, next time when we meet I expect your posture to be improved, and for you to have more control of Gunner. He may be one of our easier mounts, but if he were younger he would dragged you out of that ring. Got it," she said and the girl nodded before putting the horse into his stall.

Kate checked her watch, time for lunch, and man could she go for a good burger and fries! She ate at Ro's yesterday, and she was sure that Logan was sick of her constantly nagging him for more fries. She knew he only pretended to be annoyed just to make her laugh. She smiled as she walked to her truck, and got Max into the truck bed. She slipped her shades back on her face, and got inside. She started the truck and made her way into town. She had about a three hour window before her next group of students would come, so she had some time to slack off. Kate took off her hat, placed it on the seat next to her, and got onto the main road into town. Along the way into town, she thought about Holten, and how much he meant to her. Could he be the one? He seemed so perfect, but she didn't want to take the plunge unless she was sure he would catch her. She was smitten.

She drove into town, and saw some of the locals changing their displays in the window, and sweeping the dust off their sidewalks. This was her town, and she wouldn't change it for anything. Just then, " Small Town USA," started to play on the radio, and Kate smiled. How fitting to here this just as she was driving through. She pulled up to the soda shoppe, and sat there for a moment and listened to the words. She fixed her hair, and checked her phone to see if Holten had tried to call her. Sadly... no. Maybe he was just busy. She jumped out of her truck, and petted Max before walking in. She smiled when she walked in and greeted the waitress who was making her way over to Kegan, " Hey Leighann," she called and walked in, and sat in her usual booth and she looked at the menu. " What can I get for ya sugar," said the waitress to Kegan as she fished out a pen and held her notepad.

[jason08]

Kegan was looking over the menu when someone came in. He didn't look up until the women now standing at his table asked for him order. He smiled to her. 'I'll take a Burger all the way with one of those hand-mixed sodas I've heard everyone talk about so much, please ma'am.' He watched her walk away before he turned to look around the shop. He noticed this girl sitting at the booth in front of him. She looked like she was either heading to the barn or taking a lunch break from it. She looked familiar, but from where. He looked down at the tablet for a moment. He knew her....that face. Then it hit him. If he had been in a cartoon a lightbulb probably flashed over his head in this moment. Kegan has see her that night with Bentley. He hadn't ever seen her again with him. He for a moment wondered why. He didn't wonder long. The girl was beautiful and it had been Bentley she had been with. He was a stuck up man whore.

Kegan signed as he shook his head to himself. That boy was something else. Kegan had got into it with him once because Bentley was begin a dickhead to this chick. In the end Kegan had to put him in his place so he did. One of his buddies had to do it just a few days ago. Kegan actually felt kind bad for him because he almost got his throat cut with that beer bottle if Kegan hadn't stop him. Kegan was brought from his thoughts as the waitress brought him his food. He thanked her and was about to dig into his food but looked at the girl again.

Kegan decided to say something to her. Maybe she'd remember him. He cleared his throat. 'Hey. Not sure if you remember me. I'm Kegan. Seen you at the party a while back with the douchbag. He was one he was giving dirty looks.' His accent strong as always. He looked her over a moment before he turned back to his food. He dug into his burger as his stomach growled again. He took a few bites and chewed them. He swallowed them looked back to her. 'You can come sit with me if you like' He smiled to her.

Kegan's Truck

[Kate Hudson]

Kate brushed her hair back that was in her face, and she cleared her throat as she read over the menu. She knew what she wanted, her usual burger with no onions and their homemade sweet potato fries, with a coke float. Not this time, she wanted to try something new. If she kept eating the same thing, she would be the size of the Hindenburg come Spring. She tapped her fingers on the table while the waitress walked away from Kegan's table and went over to get Kate's order. " What'll it be Kate, the usual? Bert told me that we have a special going on today. Homemade meatloaf, mashed 'taters, and collards. And for dessert, double fudge brownie pie," she smiled when she mentioned the pie, and Kate's stomach did flips. If there was one sinful dessert that Kate loved, it was Bert's homemade double fudge brownie pie. She smiled and bit her lip, and her toes curled. " Sounds awfully tempting Leighann, but I think I'll stick with my usual, but this time I want a piece of that pie," she grinned, and the waitress laughed, " Comin' right up sugar."

Kate smiled when the waitress walked away, and she sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket, and went down her checklist of students that she already taught today. Five down, three more to go. She was probably going to be home late, but she wondered if she could reschedule or push back a student. Worth a shot. She sipped her water, and sighed. She started to think about the pie, and her stomach grumbled. Oh that pie! She heard a voice from another booth, and she looked up. It was that cowboy that she saw at the party a few weeks ago. Small world... She gave him a small smile, " Yeah, I remember you. From the bonfire house party a while back. I'm Kate. Douche-bag... oh, you mean Bentley? Wow, you sure must be an admirer to pay him such a compliment," she joked and smiled. She slide her phone back into her pocket, and rested her arms on the table. He offered for her to join her, and she thought what could it hurt? She slowly got up, and walked to his booth and sat opposite him. The waitress brought her her food, and she bit into a fry. " Mmmmm, Bert makes some the best sweet potato fries," she said and closed her eyes.

[jason08]

Kegan took a few more bites as she spoke. He laughed at her words. 'I hardly care for the ass. I'll beat his ass again any day. Though I did save his ass a few days ago. Buddy of mine almost gutted him with a broken beer bottle.' He shook his head as she moved over to his tablet. A grin passed over his lips. Bentley would be pissed if he could see this. Kegan wasn't one for taking another man's girl but Benltey didn't deserve any girl. He'd seen himself the way he sometimes treated them and it burned Kegan to the core. He smiled to the waitress again as she brought Kate her food. He watched as she bit into one of the fries. Her eyes closed as she spoke. Her face made her look like he was in heaven. He smiled again to her. 'To be honest this is my first time eating here. I live outside of town so I'm now in Pinewood a lot. Really only ever come here is for my shift at Ro's or to hang with buddies.'

In the background the jukebox changed songs. Kegan was taking a sip of his soda when he realized what song it was. I can't love you back by Easton Corbin. He almost choked on the soda. His mind flashed to images of Megan. His eyes shifted to look out the window. His heart ached in his chest. His breathing was a little rough as he listened to the song for a moment. He looked back to Kate. 'Excuse me for a moment.' He slipped from the booth and walked over to the old jukebox. He dug a dollar bill from his pocket and put it in. He picked threes songs. Ones that would put him in a better mood. He had picked Three Days Grace World So Cold, Dirt Road Anthem By Jason Aldean, and Johnny Cash by Jason Aldean. He turned around just as Dirt Road Anthem started to play. He slid back into the booth and took a few more bits of his burger.

After a moment he looked back at Kate. 'I know this is none of my business so feel free to slap me but are you and Bentley seeing each other?' He gave her another smile. He knew he should have asked but he was curious. If they were he felt the need to watch out for her even if he didn't know Kate. Kegan had just seen Bentley bring so many girls down and had only ever seen him treat them wrong.

Kegan's Truck

[Kate Hudson]

As Kate sat down, she heard the story about Bentley getting into a fight involving a beer bottle, and she plopped down in the booth. So it was his friend who caused him to get that nasty scar. She put her hat on the spot next to her and slightly laughed at Kegan's story about what happened, " Oh, I see. So it was your friend who did that to Ben? Well he sort of had it coming, but I can't help but feel sorry for him. He's got a good heart...sometimes, but he is who he is, and I don't want to force change on someone who isn't willing to take my advice," she said. Then she added as she bit into a fry, " No matter how many times I offer it," she said softly and ate the rest of the fry.

She smiled when he had mentioned that this was his first time here, and she laughed, " Well on behalf of this fine establishment, I welcome you. Perhaps I should do an initiation to make you one of us. Here, have a sweet potato fry. Eat one of these and you'll never think the same way about any other again," she laughed at herself and smiled. For having met this guy for the first time,she was pretty friendly and open with Kegan, and he was cute as well. She watched him get up, and head over to the jukebox. What was wrong with this song? She kinda liked it, but then she heard Dirt Road Anthem and thought this selection was better. He had good taste, and she watched him come back and sit across from her again. Perhaps she shouldn't ask him why he didn't like that song. She'll let him be open about it when he wanted to.

She put her glass to her lips, and drank some more water. Upon hearing Kegan's question, ...are you and Bentley seeing each other?', she near choked and removed the glass from her mouth, and wiped away what fell down her mouth. She coughed, and looked at him. Her face red from coughing, and she shook her head. " That would be past tense. We dated at one point, off and on years ago, but he's become such a different person that I don't even know why I am still his friend. I try to help him with his vices, but he is constantly pushing me away. He knows I'm here for him if he needs me, but I'm so foolish into thinking I can change him. He's just a different guy now than from the man I knew back when we met," she said and looked down and played with the last fry on her plate. It almost came off as obvious that she still loved him, but she held on so tight to Ben that she was getting dragged.

[jason08]

Kegan listened to her speak as he ate the fry she offered him. When she choked on her water he kinda felt sorry for asking. He flashed her a smile that seem to say sorry. She gather herself after a moment and spoke again. He finished off his burger as she did. He watched her and he saw it in her eyes. She loved him. Megan flashed into his mind. He remembered seeing that in her eyes. His eyes moved to the window again. His chest ached again. Would he ever be able to move one? Could his heart ever learn to love again. He looked back to Kate as she was finishing her fries. 'Sometimes people change. Sometimes we can't save them from theirsevles.....' His voice was soft as he really looked at her a moment. 'At least you can try and still save him. Megan...she's forever lost. I let things fall and I wasn't there to save her.' His voice became tight as he spoke of Megan. He was never one to freely talk about her but he felt he could with her.

He slipped on his drink and looked to the window again. He was hoping to hide the pain he knew was clear in his brown eyes. In the background the song changed over to world so cold. He closed his eyes and listened to the words. The song fit him so well these days. For a moment he sung along with the song softly. It was easy to tell he could sing even when he seemed not to try. 'I feel numb. I can't come to life. I feel like I'm frozen in time. Livin' in a world so cold, wasting away. Livin' in a shell with no soul since you've gone away. Livin' in a world so cold, counting the days. Since you've gone away, you've gone away' For a moment he found himself lost in the moment. 'Do you ever feel me? Do you ever look deep down inside starin' at yourself, paralyzed?' He looked back to her and smiled.

'Sorry. Kinda lost myself there for a moment. Still having a bit of trouble with this moving on thing even after two years after the accident.' He stopped himself. Why was he tell her this? He'd just meet Kate and he was pretty much telling her of a battle he was fighting that most of his friends didn't know he was still fighting. He looked down at the he looked down at the table unsure of what to say or even if he could look at her.

Kegan's Truck

[Kate Hudson]

Kate swallowed a lump in her throat when she thought about the past between her and Ben. She rested her hands in her lap, and looked down. Playing with a small horse charm on her bracelet that her grandmother gave her. It was tough for Kate after she and Ben broke up officially. The story goes that she and Ben met when she first moved to Pinewood, and they hit it off right away. They started to date, and it got serious. They were planning on having sex for the first time with each other, but then Ben went down that long spiral of destruction. Pretty soon, he was partying a lot, getting drunk, and what really destroyed Kate was when she came to his place and found him in bed with another girl. Since then, she was never able to forgive him for that night. He knew that she was really hurt, and it probably made him worse. Kate was so hung on Bentley, that she couldn't let him go and watch him suffer for his wrong doings. She had always been there for him. To get him out of jail, to give him advice, pep talks, and to get him from parties when he was too intoxicated. She tried to look past that and move on so she could truly be happy, but whenever she saw Ben, those feelings of regret, love, and hurt would come back to her. She let out a deep breath and looked at Kegan, who was looking right at her. Like he was looking into her heart.

" I know the feeling... two years, and I can't look past some of the stuff I put myself in. That's just the way life can be cruel to us," she said and drank the rest of her water. She crushed an ice cube between her teeth and listened to Kegan talk about Megan. She tapped her fingers on the table, and looked out the window at Max. She smiled and looked at Kegan, " I'll be right back," she said softly and got up and walked outside to see Max.

[jason08]

They kinda sat in silence for a moment before Kate finally spoke. His mind traced over her words for a moment. He tried to give a smile but at the moment he couldn't. The wound was open and burned. He could see it in her eyes as well. They were the type of wounds no one could really see unless they took the time to really look. After a moment she looked out the window and said she'd be right back. He watched her slid out the booth and walk outside. He thought about following her but decide that maybe she needed a moment. He understood that fully. Kegan found himself needing to step back and breath for a moment sometimes. His mind traced back to memories of Megan.

He remembered the time the got a little wasted and ended up at the pond on the back part of the farm. They ended up taking a midnight swim. It was one of his fondest memories of them. The night ended even better but he pushed his mind from that part. The hardest part of it all was the fact that she was just suddenly gone. There was no good-byes, no I'm sorrys, nothing to help with closer. Kegan signed as he looked around. His big house felt so empty. That's why he was thing about going by the shelter after he left here to look for a dog. He looked out the window and saw Kate standing by a truck with a dog. He guessed it was hers. He sat there for a little longer before getting up. He figured he'd give time. He took his time getting up and walking over to the cash register. He paid for both their meals not really thinking about and walked out.

He slowly walked over to her truck. he he kinda stood a bit away from the truck. He'd learn the hard way once some dogs have a little more bite with their bark. He looked to Kate. 'Sorry if I hit a sore spot in there. I didn't too. I kinda get caught up in my own wounds that I forget other have them too.' He voice was soft but held his country accent strong. He eyes showed he was being true and honest. He looked over to her dog. He slowly inched closer with his hand out so it could smell it. The dog seemed friendly enough but he didn't push his luck. He looked back over to Kate after a moment. His head was kinda tilted to the side a bit. 'I was wondering now that I see you have a dog and would be good help at picking one out that if you wanted maybe ride to the shelter with me and help me get a dog?' He just looked at her for moment then remember he paid for her food. 'Oh and by the way I paid for your food. You don't have to worry about paying me back. I was raised to be a gentleman so yea.' He chucked at the end at himself for totally making no sense at all.

Kegan's Truck

[Kate Hudson]

Kate put her hands in her back pockets as she walked away and looked back at Kegan, and walked out to the parking lot. She combed her fingers through her hair, her lip trembled, and she tried to hold back tears. She had opened up a wound in front of Kegan that hurt so much. Bentley hurt her good, and she didn't really like talking about it, but her therapist said it's best to get things out into the open instead of bottling it up inside. She walked over to her truck, Max immediatly jumped up, wagging his tail, and placed his paws on the edge of the truck like he was going to jump out. " Get back in you silly dog," she choked on words and ruffled his fur.

She sat on the tailgate of her truck and he laid across her lap and hung his head down like he knew she was hurting. She ran her hand down his back and played with the tags on his collar. She watched the trucks and cars go by, she sighed, and looked back inside, and saw Kegan still sitting at their booth. It would be rude of her to leave him there alone. She probably shouldn't have let him into her heart like that, but then in the same turn he showed a little bit of his heart to her. It was like they had a deep connection, and they could feel each other's pain.

She heard footsteps come towards her, she quickly wiped away a few small tears, and looked up and saw Kegan. He still had that look of concern on his face, as he approached her and stood within arms length of her. Kate looked away from his gaze and brushed away some hair from her face, and then looked down. Might as well tell him how much Ben has effected her. She looked back at him again and told him about the conversation she had with Ben, and how hurt she was. She didn't want to really upset Kegan since she just met him, and she didn't want to burden him with her personal life. But they both knew Bentley's character, and she needed to tell someone who at least knew Bentley in some way. " No, it's fine...I...Thank you Kegan," she finally said and gave him a little smile. Max perked his head up, and wagged his tail slightly when he saw Kegan. He smelled his hand, it smelled like grease, and he licked it and his tail wagged faster. Kate smiled and looked at Kegan. She nodded in response and said " Yeah sure, I'll go with you," as a small smile came across her lips. She took his hand as he helped her off the tailgate, and she looked into his eyes. She walked with him to his truck and she got in with Max sitting between them. She thanked him for paying for her meal and Kate was able to relax.

[jason08]

Kegan had seen as he walked up her whip away a few tears. He'd been right. She had needed a moment. Maybe he had came out to soon. She looked away from his worried eyes and brush her hair from her face. Kegan for a moment wondered why he care for a girl he'd just met. Maybe it was because they some how could see each others wounds and had some sort of deep under lined connection that made them understand each others pain. After a moment she looked back up to him and start to tell him about their last conversation and how bad it had hurt her. With every word an anger grow in his chest. Kegan had seen the boy treat girls the way he did, but now he was talking to one. He could see the hurt clear in those lovely brown eyes. It ate at him like a hunger beast. That was one thing Kegan couldn't stand. Yea, he had just went through a rough spot and had had his one stands a quit a few times but he was trying to better himself from where he'd let himself fall.

Kegan heard her speak as she'd answered his question about the shelter. He wanted to answer back but he was trying to hide his anger. He so bad wanted to hunt the ass down and show him he'd hurt the last girl. His hands balled into fist as his face hardened. He was trying to hide it and failing. It was written all over him. I'm sure if you looked it his eyes you could see the flame that burned inside him. Then finally he snapped he had to let it. Anger flowed in his words just as strong as his country accent did. 'That little bastard thinks he can string along any girl and drop them when he's done with them. How many time doesn't he have to be shown before he'll learn. Maybe I should have let my buddy gut him for way he had done to that girl. Maybe he would've learned...' Kegan stopped himself for he'd stepped to far with his words. He stepped back for Kate turning his back to her. He pulled off his cowboy hat and ran his free hand through his dark brown hair.

Kegan knew no matter how bad Bentley had hurt her. He need she loved him still. He feared his words would hurt her which he never intended or wanted. He let his anger get the best of him. He sighed and put his hat back on. Slowly he turned back to her. 'Kate forgive me of my words. I let my anger get the best of me, but I will say this. If you want I can give you my number and if Bentley ever shows around again, you don't him there, or her hurts you in any way call me. As long as I'm not at work and can't leave I'll be there. One thing I highly can't stand is when a man give a women treatment like Bentley has given you.' He took a deep breath and just there for a moment before helping her off the tailgate gently. 'Thanks for coming maybe it can help us both clear our minds. And you little friend can come as well.' Kegan smiled as he petted the dog. He moved toward his truck. He let her dog in the front and help Kate in the front as well and shut the door for her.

Kegan walked around the truck and decide as he climbed into the drivers set that he should tell her his story. She had opened up to him so why couldn't he open up to her. He crunk up the truck as he placed his hat in the middle of the dash as always. He turned on the radio and played his Jason Aldean cd. The first song to come on was Johnny Cash. He pulled out the parking out and was trying to figure out how to say it all. Suddenly Kegan found himself lost for words.

Kegan's Truck

[Kate Hudson]

Kate slowly took the number from Kegan and looked at him. She looked at the number, before putting it into her pocket, and sighed. She ran her fingers through her hair, and listened to Kegan and looked at him. She was done crying, so she sat there and took a deep breath. When he was done, she shook her head and replied " Don't be sorry, you've done nothing wrong but expressing how you feel. True, Bentley is a selfish person, but he hasn't always been that way. It's his way of coping with whatever he is going through. I don't agree with it, and I have helped him numerous times. Even though he pushes me away, I will still be there for him Kegan, because honestly no one else will be. When my dad left my mom, I wanted someone there with me, but I had no one. He does...

Kate looked down, and then looked back at Kegan. His eyes still had anger in them, and she was glad that she stopped talking when she did. She gently took his hand, and slid off her tailgate and walked with him to his truck. Max followed, and jumped in between the two in case Kegan decided to make a move on Kate. Kate sat next to Kegan and rested one hand on the center console, and she rested her other hand under her chin while she looked out the window as they pulled away. She listened to the song that was playing on the radio, and she softly sang along. She looked at Kegan while he looked in the other direction, and bit her lip. He must've thought she was stupid for holding onto someone like Bentley so hard. She tapped her fingers on the center, and reached for his hat and put it on, and made a goofy face to make him smile.

They got to the shelter, and she got out when Kegan opened her door. She had to keep Max inside the truck, and the two walked inside. The lady led them to where they kept the dogs and puppies, and Kate looked around. She saw the puppy room, and stopped while Kegan kept walking. She smiled when the puppies came to the door and barked at her. She walked in and they swarmed around her. She laughed and sat on the ground. Bad idea! Pretty soon, they was climbing all over her wanting to play. She laughed and smiled and held one of the puppies in her arms.