An Angel Mourns Silently [Tyler]

[dasha]

The green rolling hills where Vivian stood were decorated with grey headstones. Odd how something so beautiful could be so depressing sometimes, wasn’t it? Everyone had taken her hand and gave her a sympathetic look followed by a comment something like “I’m sorry for your lose.” It was a beautiful spring like day… the heat had already left and the sun was about to cascade its wonderful colors all over the sky and hills. Pinewood was a quaint little town… polar opposite to where she grew up in California. There were no boardwalks… the mall was a pathetic excuse for a shopping center… The only club that they did have looked like a rundown disease infested dump… Despite all that it was a nice break from the hustle and bustle of Cali. After the 3rd or 4th handshake and uncomfortable apology she had zoned out taking in her surroundings. The hills rolled on one after the other covered in a green blanket of moist grass. Leafy oak tree’s fenced the perimeter of the cemetery nicely… though she imagined probably only made it extremely spooky at night in the dark.

There was one lone tree on the other side of the Cemetery that she had caught a glance of during the ceremony. She had made a mental note that after everyone had left she would excuse herself and go investigate it. There was a cold touch to her shoulder that brought her abruptly out of her daze and she realized everyone had gone. Her mother gave her a weak pathetic excuse for a smile before she let her hand slide off of Vivian’s shoulder and started walking with William to their limousine. She watched them walk away for a moment before gliding her hand over the headstone in front of her and slowly making her way over to the other side of the cemetery. The sun was already setting letting an array of colors light up the sky and cast dramatic shadows over the grass. The tree stood alone with the smallest headstone in the cemetery on one side, and a rock wall on the other side. There was a wooden gate in the rock wall that leads to the field on the other side that separated the road from the graves.

Her golden blonde hair draped over her shoulders and glistened in the twilight, her black dress flowed easily with her movement, and her shoes were hooked on her fingers of her left hand. She was keeping quiet… there was something eerily calming about it here… she knew they were all dead but for some reason she felt if she talked it would disturb someone. Placing her right hand on the bark of the tree she stepped onto a small rock curb that encircled the tree. Letting out a soft sigh she finally relaxed… coming here wasn’t exactly a planned event. Not yet anyways. She had over-heard her parents talking about sending her here to live with Sebastian and her grandfather… Her parents were all about well behaved children… but not trouble-causing teenagers… Her brother was proof of that. She knew that while they were here they’d somehow manage to bring it up… and then when they got home before school started they would tell her to back her bags and take her to the airport. In a little bit of nicer terms of course, but it was all the same. She had flown over the boundaries they had set for her far too many times for them to let her stay.

It didn’t upset her that they wanted her gone… or at least she wouldn’t lead on that she was. Besides she loved and missed her older brother. Yeah, Pinewood sucked compared to Southern California… but secretly she liked the small town idea… then again that was because she knew this time she was just visiting. All the different variables of what her life was about to turn into ran ramped through her head. It was a comfort to Vivian knowing she was the only one here now… just her and the graves. In about an hour maybe more it would be dark and if she wasn’t gone she’d totally panic being out here alone… with the dead. But for now she was enjoying the peace and quiet. Balancing on the small rock curb she began circling the tree slowly. At least among the graves she didn’t have to be what everyone else knew her to be. Here she could be sober, quiet, and relaxed. Here she could breathe a little easier. It was something completely foreign to her, and as soon as she was back in the presence of the living it would all disappear completely.

[haze]

Funerals, Tyler hated them... even though he'd never been to one. To him, it felt a little too much like a pathetic plea for pity and sympathy. "Let's all dress up in black, stand around and talk about the dead person, and cry." It definitely wasn't his thing. Of course, only two people in his family had died at this point in his life. His brother had been killed in a car accident, for which Tyler blamed himself, and everyone else did the same. He had refused to go to his funeral because he couldn't face his sister in law or the new born baby who he had deprived of a father. If only he hadn't gone out that night, Jacob never would have had to come get him. His dad killed himself while Tyler was in prison a few months later, the alcoholic didn't get a funeral, no one would pay for it, his mom was too busy "moving on and getting over her grief" with some other man to care, and Tyler wouldn't have gone even if there had been one. He had learned to hate his parents.

There had very nearly been a third Haze death just before Tyler had been arrested when he was shot by the police when his intentions of dropping his weapon were mistaken for intentions to shoot at the cops. Ever since that day Tyler really had been wishing that he really would have died. If only the ambulance hadn't gotten there in time... if only they hadn't been able to revive him... he wouldn't have had to spend a year in the hell called prison, and he wouldn't have to live this horrible life. But they had gotten there in time, and they had revived him... and his life was still hell. The things Tyler went through, no one would ever be able to understand. They all just saw him as that guy who wanted to rebel against authority instead of that guy who really just needed help... they made him out to be a monster in their own minds because they didn't want to believe that one of their kind was capable of doing the things Tyler had done.

Normally, Tyler never made an appearance before dark had fallen, for obvious reasons. A lot of people hated him and he saw no reason to go out in public during the day just so people could judge him for who he was... but he had been particularly restless today for some reason or another, and just had to get out before he killed himself... not that killing himself would be a bad thing. No one would miss him, and it would put him out of his misery... but you get what I mean. It was close enough to dark by this point that he would be comfortable enough as long as he stayed away from crowded areas... and considering that this was Pinewood, that wouldn't be hard. There were almost never crowds of any sort anywhere, except with the grocery store had a 12 hour cereal sale or something like that.

He sort of just wandered around for a while, not any one particular destination in mind, just sort of going places without really knowing where he was going. As dusk fell, about an hour from dark, he found himself at the gate of the cemetary where his brother and dad were both buried. It bothered him that the person who ruined his life was laid to rest beside the person who had saved his life all those years. At the gate he hesitated a moment, not sure why he was here or even how he had gotten here. Tyler rarely came here except when he'd had a particularly awful day and was in one of those nostalgic moods... neither of which applied to today. After a moment of indecision, he turned and started forward again, through the gate and in among all those headstones that marked the graves.

The Haze plot was on the far side of the cemetery, no doubt intentionally, to keep from offending anyone by having to be near to such awful people as the Haze family... as if dead people really cared. He took his own sweet time in getting there, still not sure why he was here in the first place. When Tyler finally did get there, he stopped in front of the two. Jacob's was an actual stone which had his name, the years he was alive, and "loving brother, husband, and father" inscribed beneath his name. "Son" was deliberately left off, no doubt, by Jacob's wife who hated Tyler's parents just as much as Jacob and Tyler did. His dad's grave was simply marked by a plaque with his name and the years he was alive. He wasn't a loving anything, and in Tyler's opinion, what little was there was more than he deserved.

He leaned back against the rock wall which surrounded the cemetery and sighed slightly, the horrible guilt for Jacob's death and the burning hate for his father both weighing on him heavily now that he was here. He was usually drunk when he came here and it normally didn't feel this awful. He should have been the one buried six feet under beside their abusive dad, not Jacob. Jake was the good one, always looking out for Tyler, getting him out of trouble, standing up for him... Tyler was the trouble maker, though he he hadn't intended for it to be that way at all. Everyone blames their parents, but in Tyler's case it was true. They had pushed him to the life he lead by their constant abuse and hate. He hadn't deserved it anymore than anyone else did. He was just the unlucky accident that came as a result of too much drinking... it could have been anybody.

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[dasha]

Lost in her thoughts Vivian didn’t even hear the steps of a man enter the area. The more she turned the idea over in her head… the more nervous she got. At first the thought of moving to Pinewood didn’t seem so horrible. But the longer she thought about it the closer to reality it became, and moving to West Virginia was not a reality that Vivian Kings wanted to live through. Small town living was definitely not her style. She was all about fashion and money and glamour… and Pinewood barely had a population equal to that of the amount of parties she has during winter break. Sure it was good for a little secret getaway vacation… you know like when those celebrities disappear to their secret islands or whatever… that’s how Vivian imagined Pinewood… a little town that she would use to disappear to when she needed a few days rest to get over a hangover she had from whatever party she had just been spotted at. Vivian was the “It” girl everyone knew about her. They either wanted to be her, or wanted to be with her. Always the most popular in school smart, athletic, and gorgeous she had everything going for her. In her mind all that would be wasted her… she was not willing to let herself go to waste… She was far too good for that…. Apparently her parents disagreed.

Another soft sigh escaped her lips as she cast her eyes to the ground letting her hair fall over her face loosely. Her eyebrows pulled together in frustration… she’d never understand her parents thought process. It wasn’t but two steps later that she noticed the shadow on the ground before her. Her head snapped up suddenly and her eyes took in the figure of the man near her. By now he was already sitting down… leaning against the wall. She bit her lip feeling guilty for intruding, he seemed so sad… the way his body was positioned just seemed to cave. But she mentally smacked herself for being stupid… obviously he was sad… he lost someone close to him or he wouldn’t be here. Still, there was something about him that pulled at her. He seemed rugged… but young… she took in his appearance quietly. His eyes were sunken in and dulled… he was definitely more than just sad. She swallowed and cleared her throat softly not wanting to startle him... but he was in her path to leave. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know anyone else was here.” Guilt engulfed her entire body… it wasn’t her place to make assumptions… She didn’t even know him.

She blinked a few times a look of complete innocence and kindness flowed out of her eyes… something that was so far from normal she wasn’t sure if it was even her. Normally the feisty 16 year old rich girl overflowed with such power not many people knew how to handle it. But right now she felt… calm… her walls weren’t up… and he hardly seemed a threat at least not the state he was in… she felt bad for him… It must have taken something awful to get him there. She crossed her arms now that the sun was fading a chill had come in along with a light fog layer. Not wanting him to feel like she was staring she angled her eyes down and away from him. In most cases her confidence would be overwhelming to whoever was around her. But here and now… in front of this stranger… she was the most vulnerable she had been since she was born. She didn’t even know his name… but whoever he was… he was very lucky. This would be the first and last time anyone saw an unguarded Vivian Kings.

[haze]

Tyler was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he failed to realize that he wasn't the only living one in the graveyard. Because of this, his guard was down completely like it always was when he came here. Normally no one else was around and he was free to just be the real Tyler, the Tyler who no one believed existed. Underneath of everything people saw was a guy who was just like everyone else. Unfortunately, there was only one person in the whole world who could ever see through the mask and bring it out for the rest of the world to see, and unfortunately Tyler hadn't met her yet, and at this point in his life didn't even believe she existed anymore. Like any guy who had a heart and wasn't afraid to admit it, he had dared, at one point in his life, to believe that there was a girl who would be "the one" but that dream had since been crushed into oblivion.

He hadn't been there long when suddenly he heard someone clear their throat quite near to him. He was obviously taken off guard by the sound of a living human where he expected only the silence of the dead and was, needless to say, slightly startled from his thoughts. It didn't take more than the time it takes to blink an eye for all those walls of his to go back up to protect him from this stranger who, no doubt like the rest of the world, only wanted to see the criminal and didn't want to see the broken human beneath all of that. Tyler was so guarded, so defensive of himself and of his emotions that he was nearly impossible to read into at all. This particular person was lucky to have seen even such a brief moment of who he really was before he was able to hide behind the mask again. The only people who had ever seen that side of him were either dead, had turned him into this "monster," or had completely forgotten about his very existence... now all that had changed.

His now cold gray eyes shifted from the graves to the girl who was now apologizing for intruding, not even so much as a hint of the overwhelming emotion remained in his expression. He had to admit, she was definitely one of the prettiest he'd seen... though he wouldn't say that aloud, especially in this situation when he had yet to say even so much as a word to her. He wasn't really sure what to say to her to be honest. A cemetery was an awkward place to have a conversation with someone when you didn't want it leading to emotional topics... like who it was they were paying their respects to. If she asked him, he would tell her... but he would really rather that not be brought up. It was bad enough that she had caught him here... it was proof he actually was capable of feeling, and he had been "hiding" that for years now.

A moment of silence drew out between them as Tyler debated on what to say. It was a fear of his, one he didn't even realize he had, that people would take what he said wrong. Living a life like he had where it seemed no matter what he said or how he tried to explain, he was still punished for it. His mom would always scream at him, his dad would always beat him... and when his teachers asked where the cuts and bruises came from and he made up some story as to what had happened, they assumed he was lying because he had gotten in a fight and he was reprimanded for lying and for fighting. People never seemed to understand why someone in a situation like his would lie about what was happening... and truthfully, he never had either. But if he did know and someone asked him why he always lied to protect his parents, he would have to honestly say that it was because he loved them.

As a child, there was only one thing he knew for certain, and that was that his parents should have loved him... and he lied every day about the abuse, and went home to more pain, always hoping that someday, somehow, they would realize that they loved him the way he loved them. Of course, as he got older and the abused did sort of turn into fights... though only in self-defense on his part... people stopped asking for fear of him turning on them, which he never would have done. His life was so twisted and agonizing, he could hardly stand to continue living in it... but he did. "It's fine..." he said at long last, sounding as uncertain as he felt in this situation, despite his best efforts not to, "I was just leaving." A lie. Tyler was never really much good at lying, and still wasn't, but he could only hope she would believe him.

He straightened up, pushing his weight back onto his feet and off the wall, hoping to make it seem as if what he said was true. He couldn't quite tell what that look on her face was. It seemed somehow fearful, perhaps guilty, maybe a little remorseful and sad... but he couldn't quite tell. Perhaps because he was out of his element here, perhaps because of his uncertainty in this situation, perhaps because he had been taken so off guard, or perhaps because he wanted to change the subject quickly before she read into his lie, he felt the strange need to say something more, and before he could stop himself, he had already said it. Are you alright? He asked, the uncertainty pushed aside and hidden as it normally was. He hadn't ever seen her around before, and he knew most people in Pinewood, so he could only assume that she was either new here or visiting, neither of which explained why she was in the cemetery at this hour, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't not be the caring guy that he was... it was just unfortunate that he had always managed to hide that side of him before when the general public was there to see.

[/size]

[dasha]

[glow=black,2,300]

There was something about this perfect stranger that caught her attention. And I mean other than the fact that he was sitting in the grave year at this time… alone. He looked broken… but then as soon as he noticed her that changed immediately. His muscular build tensed slightly and that soft gentle look vanished before she could blink. All of which just made her more curious… I guess the saying “curiosity killed the cat” would apply here. Oddly enough it reminded her of herself. She was always hiding what she believed to be her true self… but in all honesty she lost track of who she was a long time ago. Her eyes scanned over him, as his body language was definitely saying something completely different now, but not in a judgmental way or a criticizing way. No not at all, more of a… caring, curious, friendly way… mostly curious though… she couldn’t help it… it was in her nature to want to know the action for every reaction… and his was a very interesting reaction just to her presence.

His now cold eyes looked up at her causing her to look away immediately… suddenly aware that she was staring. She shifted her eyes, unable to make actual eye-contact but not wanting to seem shy by staring at the ground. Softening her eyes slightly she looked at his face letting a tiny smile appear on her features. He, despite looking suddenly cold, was pretty good looking and she couldn’t help but notice… even under the awkward and unusual circumstances. Pulling her mind away from those thoughts she glanced out of the corner of her eye at the plaque and the head stone he was sitting in front of. She wouldn’t ask about them obviously… that would be way too creepy and definitely an invasion of privacy I mean she didn’t even know his name. She had to admit there wasn’t much either of them could say that wouldn’t eventually lead back to the reason for being in the cemetery… It’s kind of hard to avoid… or overlook. By now she was pretty sure she would either just walk around him and the two graves to the gate as to avoid making this anymore… discomforting than it already was.

Before she could make the move to go around him though he said “It’s fine…” she didn’t believe that it was but that part seemed pretty genuine… “I was just leaving.” That part she definitely did not believe but she wasn’t going to state so… any other place and time and she would have just to be a brat. She felt slightly more relaxed now that he had said something though and her shoulders loosened up. In her head she couldn’t help but think of all the things he could have done differently to make his lie a little more believable… it all came naturally for her, even though sometimes she wished it didn’t, but it came in handy when she was sneaking out of the house to go to a “sleep over.” In this case she was semi glad he wasn’t a good liar, she wasn’t really sure why though. Being in high school lying was a common thing… so common that usually when you found out your best friend lied to you deep down you really aren’t that surprised. Basically the only reason Vivian was the most popular was because she had mastered the art of lying and being able to tell when someone was lying to her. The fact that he was such a… fantastic liar that he was, was a relief not having to dissect everything he said and did as he was saying it. It made her job a lot easier.

In order to try and make his lie more believable he pushed himself off the wall and stood up. Now that he was up right she had to look up to actually look at his face. Typically a 16 year old girl would be afraid of a tall dark mysterious looking man in a cemetery, but nothing about Vivian said she was afraid. She wasn’t intimidated by his stature at all. Had she not seen what he was before that might have been different. But she knew that deep down he wasn’t a threat. If anything he was just in pain and misunderstood. There she went again making assumptions… she really didn’t want to… I mean for all she knew he was a serial killer and she was his next victim… but she wasn’t scared of him not in the least… nothing scared her… well at least that’s what she liked to make everyone believe. There was the fear of being banished to this god-forsaken little town… but no one knew about that except for her.

“Are you alright?” His words pulled her back into reality away from her thoughts that she so often got lost in. She blinked a few times letting the question sink in and actually asking herself if she was inside her head. “Well let me think… my grandfather just died… the one person I trust most on this earth has hardly spoken 3 words to me in the past few years… and my parents are about to kick me out of the house and force me to live in the one place I can’t stand. But other than that I’m fan freakin tastic.” Was what she would have really liked to respond with. But… that wasn’t going to happen so she sighed softly and looked up at him contemplating the right way to answer him. “Are you?” She responded sincerely concerned. She bit her lip knowing it wasn’t any of her business, but he asked her first so it was only fair if she was allowed to ask him as well. “I’ve been better.” She answered with a question. Hoping that if she answered honestly that maybe he would too, instead of trying to lie to her again. She ran her fingers through her hair not really wanting to leave at all, but if this didn’t get any less uncomfortable than she would.

[/glow]

[haze]

It was probably a good thing that Tyler had spent all his life in this small town where it was a rare occasion that anything ever happened. If he had lived in a big city... or anything bigger than Pinewood... he probably would have wound up in much more trouble than he had gotten into here. Because of the lack of direction in his life, and the confusion, anger, and grief that drove him to crime, he had become prone to following anyone who would step forward to lead. The crime in cities was far worse than in this little town, and no doubt if these incidents had unfolded elsewhere, he would be spending much more time in prison, if he even survived being shot at all. He had never experienced anything outside of Pinewood, and if he knew what was best for him, he never would. He was far too easily influenced... especially when he'd been drinking. It was much safer for him here.

Tyler was far from a dream man. He was quite the opposite really, and not just because of his criminal record. He was prone to violent outbursts of anger which he could hardly control, though if he learned to avoid situations in which he felt threatened they wouldn't happen nearly as often. No doubt there was some way to control these outbursts, or at least subdue them once they had started, but at this point he had found no reason to attempt to find that way, and odds were he wouldn't be capable of restraining himself and it would have to be done by someone other than himself. Because of his parents' abuse he had quickly learned to become defensive and often switch over to the offensive in order to protect himself, and because it had gone on for so long, it had become habit, and the deeper he got into the crime, the stronger that habit became, and once he went to prison... well, his fate was sealed. Inmate 1326... that was what they called this side of him... and it was an unpleasant, horribly un-kind side that no one would want to experience.

Not that Tyler would ever want to hurt someone intentionally... at least not someone who didn't ask for it like the other fighters... but no one would ever believe that. He'd had no defense of himself for that night because of the memory loss caused by the coma he was in for a week, and because he couldn't explain any of it... everyone just believed what the prosecution had said. He was a "dangerous criminal with violent tendencies, and if he was willing to shoot at the police, why should he restrain himself from hurting anyone else?" When that sentence had been said in the courtroom you could only imagine how he felt. He didn't remember anything that had happened, so he had no choice but to believe that was what he'd done... but it was so entirely unlike him. He never used a gun in his life... not really anyway... and he didn't think he ever would have even thought to shoot at the police... but that was what they said, so it must have been.

He was rather uncomfortable in this current situation... partly because he was acting so... like himself and not like the Tyler he had made everyone else believe he was... and he didn't know why. Any other day he probably wouldn't have said anything to her and just moved out of the way so she could go by and pay no more mind to her. It put him out of the false comfort zone he had created for himself since taking on the role of the bad guy. Truthfully... if he would just act more like this on a regular basis, people would eventually see that he wasn't who they thought he was and would give him a chance... but how could he know that? All he had ever known his whole life was violence and pain no matter what he did. So he had convinced himself that getting as far away from his true self as possible would result in less pain... which was a horrible lie.

The moment he had asked the question he regretted it. She was in a graveyard... how could she possibly be perfectly alright? No one came to graveyards when they were happy and chipper... and if they did then they must have some serious problems... in which case they probably still weren't alright. He sort of expected her to fire off the typical "I'm fine" answer from her considering that was what he would have answered had she asked him... but then she returned the question. It was the first time in two years that anyone had bothered to ask him if he was alright and if he had been taken off guard just by her being there, he was definitely even more thrown off now. Before now, only one person had ever asked him if he was alright, and that had been Jacob... after he died, there was no one left who cared about whether or not he was alright... so now to have a total stranger who he didn't even known the name of ask him... well he didn't quite know what to do.

Oh sure, he'd asked her first... but that was simply because he was the kind of guy who could almost feel the pain other people were in and wanted to stop it... though you'd never know it since he hid his real personality so well... but he couldn't even begin to fathom why she would want to know if he was alright or not. He really wasn't sure if he should answer honestly or if he should make an attempt at another lie. Rather than the "I'm fine" he could go with the other cop out on really answering and say something along the lines of "I will be" but neither of those were true. He wasn't fine, and he wasn't going to be... at least no on his own power. He really had no option but to tell the truth, she would be able to tell he was lying if he did so he would basically be saying he wasn't anyway. "No...but I wouldn't be here if I was." He said truthfully, hoping she wouldn't dwell on it. The last thing he wanted was more people prying into why he was the way he was... he got enough of that from his probation officer and the cops during the investigation and the lawyers during the trial... and none of them really cared, they all just wanted to find out why so they could pass him and all his problems on to some "specialist" who had never really experienced anything like what he was going through.

Again, an awkward silence drew out between them and he was at a loss as to how to break it. This was one of those situations where it probably would have been best to just say nothing and they could both go their separate ways... but now here they were, trapped in the awkward conversation that neither knew how to end. Oh the joys of being socially inept. He was sure a pretty girl like her was probably popular and was much more at ease when conversing with people than he was... and this made it all the more difficult for him. Ah, but such was life... just one more reason he wanted it to end.

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[dasha]

“No… But I wouldn’t be here if I was.” To her surprise he actually answered honestly. She nodded and gave a slight shrug to show some sort sympathy. Oddly enough she did care. Normally she could care less if someone was in pain, more often than not she was the one causing it, but in this case she was being genuine. If you asked her though, why she was being so… caring towards him, she wouldn’t have an answer. Maybe because he had caught her in her moment of weakness and she seemed to have done the same to him. That was more than likely the reason. Vivian wasn’t a caring person. She was your typical vicious teenager; she chewed you up and spit you out without thinking twice. Made you think you were something special just to tear you down and let you pick up the pieces she left behind. This girl standing here in the cemetery with this complete stranger… was not Vivian Kings.

As the silence dragged on she leaned back against the tree and the fear of being shipped off to this place was no longer present. She was comfortable now, relaxed even. Though the silence was a bit creepy and almost awkward she didn’t mind, it was kind of nice actually. High schoolers were all about the gossip and constantly chattering on and on about nothing. If anyone of Vivian’s friends found out that she wished that sometimes it would be more quiet like this, then they’d think she was nuts. So she never said anything about just enjoying the silence. It was almost like she was bipolar she had two completely different personalities that she maintained. The one that only herself and now this guy saw and then one that everyone else got to see.

She was just about to open her mouth and say something (even though she didn’t know what she was going to say) when she saw a flashlight shimmering over headstones. There was a small part of her that wished they weren’t coming for her and that she’d never have to go back… But deep down she knew that wasn’t going to happen and that, that flashlight was looking for her. A small sigh escaped her lips unintentionally and her eyes made their way back to his face. She now knew what she was going to say but before she could verbalize those words she was cut off by a holler voice that was meant to prove her right… “Indy!?” Indy was her nick name… they were coming for her. To avoid the awkward introduction of whoever was looking for her and this stranger, whom she didn’t even know the name of, she pushed off the tree. “Guess that means the clock’s struck twelve…” she stepped forward, ducking her head and moved past him almost in a shy manner, toward the light. After a few steps she stopped and looked over her shoulder. She wanted to say it was nice to meet you… but technically she hadn’t really met him… She didn’t know who he was why he was here or basically anything about him… So instead of “goodbye” or “see you later” she just smiled then went on her way…