Kaiden Cummings

[Kaiden Hunter Cummings]

-- Kaiden Hunter Cummings

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-- FULL NAME: Kaiden Hunter Cummings
-- NICKNAMES: Kaide
-- AGE: 24
-- BIRTH PLACE: San Diego, California
-- ORIENTATION: Straight
-- OCCUPATION: Desk Clerk at the Vet Clinic
-- PLAYED BY: Miranda Kerr

-- PERSONALITY

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-- TRAIT ONE HERE: Insecure- Kaiden is really insecure about herself. She doesn't feel comfortable about herself because her parents brought her up making her feel like she wasn't good enough. She tried to do things, and they never seemed to be done right. She tried to do something nice, instead of getting a thank you, she'd get told twelve things that were wrong with it. She always felt like she could never do anything right because of this. She felt like she was the family failure.
-- TRAIT TWO HERE:Shy[/i]- Kaiden is incredibly shy. She always had a hard time getting to know people, and trying to find the right words to say to people. She often had a hard time going up to people to try and make friends, she often would stay home on the weekends because she wasn't sure of how to try and make friends. She found comfort in her horse and dog.
-- TRAIT THREE: Funny[/i]- The friends that Kaiden had she would often make them laugh, and she'd try to be funny, and make them laugh. She's a total dork, and she embraces it. The few friends that she had could always rely on Kaiden for a good laugh and smile when they were feeling down.

-- LOVES: Animals, writing, photography, music, helping people, soccer, running, riding horses, hanging out
-- HATES: Being shy, when she blushes, seeing injured animals, her body, having no confidence, bullies, insecurities, not being good enough, liars, jerks

-- HISTORY

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My name is Kaiden Hunter, or Kaiden, or Kaide I don't really care what you call me. Let me tell you a little bit about myself, because I feel like telling a story, and today just happens to be your lucky day okay? Okay. Okie dokie here we go.

So like I said my name is Kaiden, and I am twenty-four years of age. I came to this fabulous town from San Diego, California. I lived about twelve miles from the USMC base. My mom kicked me out when I was sixteen, and I put myself through schooling, and managed to find ways to take care of myself. My parents always told me that they'd be better off with another daughter that wasn't me. This has really torn me up since I have no confidence in myself

So with my parents out of the picture I was left on my own to figure things out. I packed up my dog Rogan and we moved into an apartment. My goal was to get through high school, and to try and go on to college, and that's exactly what I did. I have an AS degree certifying me to be a Vet Tech. I actually did do things that my parents said I couldn't do.

After completing school I decided that my best interest would be to get out of San Diego, bringing me here. This is where I am going to try and make a home at. I hope I didn't bore you to sleep with my history.

-- SAMPLE

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Shawn and Jenny were in bed with each other, but words hadn't been said since their fight the night before. The young Marine watched as his wife slept, it seemed like all they did since they had gotten married was fight. And truthfully it pained Shawn to know that they weren't as happy as he hoped that they would be. He tried so hard to make her happy and smile, and he hoped that she'd realize that.

The young marine watched his young wife sleep. He didn't sleep well before deployments, and he was deploying in a few days. He had been up watching her sleep, trying to think of how they could make up to each other. He wanted to so much. He had been laying there since they went to bed. They tried to seem happy for Ryder, but was she truly happy with him? Shawn turned onto his side, and he watched Jenny sleep. That was his wife, even if his family didn't know yet. He wanted to figure out how he could make it up to her.

His eyes glanced to the bedroom clock beside his bed, and he inhaled softly, it was three AM, he'd have to get up soon and ready for work, and he hadn't gotten any sleep. He looked back at Jenny, and his mouth twisted. He hoped if she didn't want to be with him she'd tell him that she didn't want to be. He moved some of her hair from her face, trying to not wake her as he got up.

Shawn quietly got his uniform from the closet. He watched as his dog Riley crawled into bed next to Jenny. He knew it was going to be quiet around since his K9 was going to have to go with him to his deployment, and that would leave the family dog less. He quickly showered, and got ready, and walked into Ryder's room to watch her for a moment before he had to go. He loved watching his wife and daughter sleep. He picked Ryder up, careful to not wake her up, and he laid her down in his bed next to Jenny. He didn't want Jenny to be alone when she woke up. He kissed Ryder on the head, and he went to make breakfast for the two, so that it'd be ready when they got up. He figured that Jenny might like that.

Shawn was okay at cooking, but he wasn't an amazing cook. He decided that pancakes and eggs with his mamma's homemade syrup would be okay. Ryder usually woke up right after he left, and it was already four-thirty. He had to leave by five-thirty, and Ryder usually woke up at six. He made the eggs and syrup just fine, and while he was making the pancakes he sat down for a moment, and watched them, soon dozing off to sleep, he hadn't slept in almost fourty-eight hours.

Twenty minutes later he woke up to smoke filling the house, and the fire alarms going off, and he looked at his pan, and saw the pancakes were cooking extremely well. So well that they caught on fire. He started to cough and choke on the smoke, and the dog started to bark. He jolted up and grabbed the pan. "Son of a fucking bitch!"[/color] He yelled dropping the burning pan in water as he burnt his hand.

Ryder woke up to the noise and started to cry and scream "Mommy..... mommy wake up...."[/b] She cried out, shaking Jenny, trying to get her to wake up. The loud noises scared her, and the smoke made it worse for her. The young girl had fear in her bright blue eyes. Shawn held his hand which was burnt pretty well, and he punched the metal cabinet as hard as he could with his good hand. He felt like he was fucking up a lot lately.

-- OOC

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-- NAME OR ALIAS: The other Chey "/ but I might change names since an admin's name is Chey
-- AGE: 17 will be 18 soon
-- RP EXPERIENCE: 5 years?
-- THREE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOU: Funny, devoted, dork. (Tess can vouch)
-- HOW YOU FOUND US: Blame Tess, she's been my RPing friend for a while now.
-- RULEPHRASE: Admins Edit
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[Chey]

-- PENDING

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Hi, there are just a few things that need to be fixed before I can accept this.

1.) The last Personality paragraph has a few sentences that I think could be worded better. For instance, 'The friends that Kaiden had she would often make them laugh, and she'd try to be funny, and make them laugh.'The same thing was said twice, and also mentioned in the last sentence. Try re-wording it. You also need a few more sentences to make it a full paragraph.

2.) Please change your History section to third person (Example: 'She lived about twelve miles from the USMC base', not 'I lived about twelve miles from the USMC base.') I know this'll mean pretty much re-writing it, but we cannot accept any writing in first person. Also, the History section word minimum is 300 words, so please bulk it up a little bit to reach the minimum.

3.) The rulephrase is incorrect. 'Admin's Edit' is what we replace it with once we've looked over your app, to make sure new members don't see the rulephrase in other apps instead of reading the rules. Please read the rules to find the correct rulephrase.

Once you've fixed the things mentioned, PM me or let me know in the c-box so I can look it over again. Thanks so much! I look forward to accepting you into the PWS family :] If you have any questions, please let me know.

- Chey

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